Why do we Lie?

So, I almost titled this post "Don't Lie", but then people wouldn't read the post because they would think that was all I had to say. Then I briefly considered, "How stupid do you think I am?" and I quickly determined that wasn't a good idea because number one I wasn't the recipient of the recent lying, and also because I was afraid some of you might answer in the comments and then I would have a really bad day and cry because I'm PMSing.

Also, I'm reading Jenny Lawson's Let's Pretend This Never Happened and I'm in the mood to tell you every crazy thing that runs through my head.

The premise of this post? Lying is Bad.

I know, you're thinking that I could have simply titled to post "Duh", written that one sentence and you'd be over it already, because seriously, who doesn't know that?

Well, really bad criminals and of course they lie because they don't want to go to jail and wear those really ugly jumpsuits and only wash with soap because scrubs and loofahs aren't a luxury I think they give you in jail.

Obviously though criminals aren't the only ones who seem to think that lying is perfectly acceptable in day to day living. 

This is what I've notice. People either A) want everyone to like them so they lie to make themselves look better or at least not as bad as they think they will look if they tell the truth, or B) they've really screwed up and they want to pass it off on you (or some other innocent bystander).

There are also those instance when you can't possibly fathom why someone did that to begin with and so there is the huge lie that looks more like a false alibi because really it is much easier to believe that they were at the grocery store rather than freeing animals at the zoo downtown and leaving them to run out into the freeways and die and cause major traffic accidents.

My point, yes, I'm getting there.

Why can't we all just get along? Doesn't everyone over the age of 21 realize by now that none of us are perfect and as long as our intentions aren't malicious, honesty is always the best policy? I mean, everyone gets caught lying eventually. How can you keep up with all of that. I'd rather say - Hey, I did this. I didn't realize at the time that this would happen and I'm really sorry about it. Are we cool?

Cause seriously, if I made an honest mistake or only slightly screwed something up, who is going respond with - No Damnit! Why didn't you just lie to me so I could be angry that the restaurant messed up my order instead of knowing that you simply forgot to tell them I didn't want mayo on my burger!

No one. I mean, probably someone but no one that I care to be friends with so, yeah.

Now if you're lying because you realize that it would be better for your mother to think that you were sick and your boyfriend was in the bathroom holding your hair away from your face than to realize that the two of you left the bathroom at the same time because he was fucking you on the sink counter because that would be traumatizing for her? Then yeah, go ahead and do that. And for example if your best friend asks for your opinion on a dress she wants to buy and it makes her look like a malformed human sausage, maybe you could stick with, "It's really not my favorite, I think you look better in A-line dresses." (Not a lie, just not quite so brutal.)

So the short version of several long stories? I know a lot of people who lie about really stupid stuff. Like, what time they left dinner because they don't want someone to know they didn't call the second they got in the car, or saying that they got their information from a third party because they don't want to admit that they were actually present for whatever act the boyfriend/girlfriend did because if their friend is in denial they don't want to be the one to shatter it for them. These lies end up making the situation worse, and eventually they get caught in their crazy collection of lies when the truth wasn't all that bad to begin with.

So yeah, that's all I wanted to say today. Lying is bad, don't do it.

Disclaimer: None of my examples are actually lies that spurred the writing of this post so if any of my friends or family are reading and you are thinking, oh good she's not talking about me.... I probably actually am ;)

Have a great weekend!