Friday, February 24, 2012

Too much? Too cryptic?

I always struggle writing very personal posts. I filled the screen with words and then quickly deleted them all. I am having a difficult day. I want to tell you all about it, but that would decidedly be oversharing. I don't want to be cryptic and mopey, because not only is it undersharing, it is annoying.

So basically? I used to have a friend, but she's not my friend anymore. She abruptly cut me out of her life three and a half years ago. It was her decision and I really thought that she would cool off and change her mind. She didn't. I've reached out twice, and while she's not hateful, she'd clearly not interested in fixing things either.

I won't say she didn't give me a reason, she did. But the logic didn't apply to other relationships in her life. So I have always wondered why she cut me out and not everyone else.

Just so you know this wasn't just any friend. We were thick as thieves. She called my mama "Mama K" and often referred to herself as our "other sister".

So about every six months I am reminded of our friendship and the very abrupt way in which it ended. I never got any closure, and I'm still very hurt that our friendship apparently meant so little to her.

I have new friends, and they are great friends! Sometimes though, it makes me sad that I lost her. We shared a lot of really great times, and some of my best memories involve her. 

So today I'm sitting here wondering. Wondering what happened, wondering how she is now, wondering if she regrets cutting me out but is just too stubborn to try and repair the damage.

Have any of you lost a friend this way?


The Bipolar Diva said...

Yes I have. We're actually having dinner tonight. Wondering how it will go.

Kodie said...

I had a friend like that as well. She got engaged about a year and a half ago and told me about that as well as her wedding plans. At one point she was going to ask me to be in her wedding but then must have decided against it. We haven't talked in awhile but that's normal now that she has moved. I thought she was getting married at the end of the year but turns out it's next month and guess who isn't even invited. I thought we were better friends than that. Granted I probably wouldn't have been able to go because of costs but it's the thought that counts right? It just sucks when nothing happened and all of a sudden it seems like we aren't friends at all.

Kristin said...

I have a former friend like that too. We were the best of buddies for 2 years and then she got engaged and stopped talking to me because I was still single. I know how you feel!

Babes Mami said...

I have and it is so hurtful to never have that closure!